Witchful Thinking

Dear Witchful Thinking,

My husband died on Aug 13, 2010. His name was Christopher, born in Jan 1973. He would of survived if the doctor did a cat scan, but he didn’t and he died of brain-death: too much blood in the brain, concussion. Anyway I don’t feel like he’s moved on I need to help  him, I’m in pain of course, but its crucial, and I feel a lot of evil present. I need to talk to him. I need to know what I need for the alter, I need to open my eyes and see because it’s crucial. I need to know Wicca period, but I need to start here. Please help me…..he told me something bad was going to happen if we didn’t leave the city, wasn’t expecting it to  be this traumatic. I wanna know what is really going on…

corrina

Dear Corrina,

Wow. There is so much grief emanating from your post. A lot of confusion and anger–all a part of the grief process. Your husband wasn’t very old, and losing him from a concussion is sudden and unexpected. How could you possibly prepare for that? Even with a premonition, it’s nothing compared to when the events come.

You sound to me like an emerging psychic. This can be both exciting and horrifying because as the inner eye opens, we become aware of things that we often cannot interpret. I think the eye opens up sometimes before we are ready for it to. You are in a period of immense grief and feel very low, which means your vibration is low and you are only able to see evil. Additionally, you have not had any training in cosmic law and don’t yet know how the psychic and astral realms work–you don’t know how to interpret what you see and feel.

Many people when they first start out believe that anything having to do with the dead is evil, but cosmic law teaches that the world is not black and white, good and evil, but is a wide variety of colors and generally neutral in alliance. The universe is what it is.

If you feel that you need to talk to your husband, talk to him. You don’t need to see him, you don’t need an altar or a fancy spell–he’s in your heart. Its as easy as thinking about him. Go to where his remains are and say what is on your mind, or place an empty chair in the room and imagine he sits in it. You’re closer to him than probably almost anybody else was, so of course he is more available to you than he might be to someone else. If he is hanging around, it is probably because he doesn’t think you are ok. If he wants anything, it’s because it is in your best interest. But you have to be still enough to calm your mind and open your true heart, and be receptive to the subtle sensations of body and voice that are the ways we know the dead are near us. If you feel you cannot do that, you can go see a psychic. A talented psychic is both a gifted medium and a spiritual counselor–you may need both right now.

Ok, I’m going to tell you something and you’re going to ignore me until you are ready to hear it, but I’ll say it anyway in case you are ready: the dead move on. They go to a good place. They connect to their higher selves and forget petty jealousies and pain. Your dead husband sees the bigger picture. He is not stuck: you are stuck. You are hurting so bad that it is too much to deal with, so you externalize it onto him. Your cry for help serves a function, but you must focus on your healing or you will never be able to help him.

In Wicca too, the focus is on your self-healing, your personal spiritual journey towards the Gods and your true higher self. You’ve already begun your journey, and the first step is to get the help you need. You must truly grieve the loss of your husband for what it is. Focus on moving through your feelings. When you do so, your inner eye will clear and you’ll know what is the right thing to do, and you don’t have to pay someone $5.99 a minute to tell you what to do.

Many therapists and psychologists would focus on the mental and behavioral disturbance, but there is a trend towards including psychic phenomenon in some types of counseling. Seek out a counselor who understands the connection and is willing to talk about it. But you are right, you do need help. You need help from a professional who can guide you through your pain towards healing. A psychic can only go so far. You have the capacity to heal yourself. Begin there by looking inward. Your husband will help you if you are calm enough to hear.

Blessed Be, Corrina.

Please see my other posts on grief for more information.